En Mi Mind – Un Café. Better Make That Two.

Your Work Speaks Louder Than Your Resume // Tu Trabajo Dice Mas Que Tu Currículum

I know I announced to the Internet that I was enrolling into Tulsa Tech, but I think there may be other plans on the horizon. I had given up hope and was settling into my current position in life when TOMA (BAM) an ex coworker messaged me and told me to call him because his company may have an opening that was perfect for me. Perfect for me! I didn’t add that. He literally said, “perfect for you.”

Lo juro (I swear) everything sounded muffled after what he said. Recently, I have been trying my hardest to get a position with Cox Media Group, The Edge, and the Philbrook Museum of Art. I think I’m a suitable and competitive candidate for all of the position I have applied for, but I guess they don’t think I’m the best fit.

Galaxy Quest - Never Give Up Never Surrender — Whenever I start to feel low, I always find comfort in “Galaxy Quest”

I’m okay with that, but it’s been a process to get used to rejection. In almost any other aspect in my life, rejection is nothing but a speed bump. In my work life, however, rejection is more of a brick wall I need to climb over. Like I said, es un proceso (it’s a process). So, to hear my old coworker say a job was perfect for me was like the high five I’ve been needing these past couple of days.

My plan had been to stay at my current job and enroll into Tulsa Tech to further improve my professional skills. Now, I think I’m going to keep my options open. I have until August to enroll in a course. Until then, I’m going to hope and pray the Philbrook or my friend’s company will contact me back with some good news. The way I see it, I would still be making a career move and instead of learning skills in a classroom, I’m going to learn them in an office. To be honest, I learn best by doing things myself instead of studying about them in theory. In this way, I’m easily trained. Just toss me in the arena like in “How to Train Your Dragon”.

“I believe in learning on the job.” – Gobber, “How to Train Your Dragon.”

Entonces (so), I’m welcoming the future with an open mind. No matter what comes next, I’m getting my mind to focus on opportunities of enrichment. I must thank my friend for reminding me that I’m a quick study.

While I was talking with my ex coworker on the phone, he listed off qualities he knew I had that would be great for the open position: hard working, quick learner, organized, bilingual, attentive to detail, capable of adapting and following through projects despite obstacles. I felt a warm and satisfied feeling growing inside my chest when he was talking. There’s a specific feeling that grows from within when someone notices your work ethic and believes it has merit. Orgullo (pride) maybe?

Too often we find ourselves in jobs where we feel underappreciated or nonexistent. I’ve had to catch myself before letting my tongue fly off. Specifically, I can remember when a superior of mine mockingly wondered how his office and schedule were so well kept when it was my job to do so. I wanted to huff and puff and tell him “What do you think I do here?!” It’s easy for superiors to make their subordinates feel like they can be easily replaced and that they’re jobs are menial. My friend was never my direct superior, but I didn’t think he noticed how much I enjoyed my job and did my best to make everything that came to my attention run smoothly.

While I’ve been looking for another job, I’ve put a lot of care in developing my resume. Knowing that the first impression is usually an application and a resume, I’ve crafted my resume to make me feel well represented. Sometimes, it’s enough. Sometimes, it’s good to be kept on file.

Recuerda (remember) to connect and network with your coworkers, no matter where you’re at. They can be the best references and are an extension of your resume. Better than hearing of a job and getting it is being offered an opportunity from the inside. Network with vendors, customers, and people you meet that are in your industry or your field. These individuals can stake their name out for you if they want. I’m incredibly grateful that my ex coworker recommended me and sought me out for this opportunity. Work with determination and conviction, and others will notice. Work with disregard and aloof, and others will notice that too. Sometimes, your work speaks louder than your resume. A veces tu trabajo dice mas que tu curriculum.

With mucho mucho amor,

Tulsa’s Tapatia

Con Empeño // With Determination

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here, so I cared to remind you that, yes, I am still alive.

It’s been hectic lately. I recently graduated from Tulsa Community College and not knowing where exactly life is going to take me in the next 13 months, I’ve decided to make a career move. I’m going to enroll in Tulsa Tech. Tulsa Tech is a trade school and I figured I can’t just sit on my cucu (booty) while Tyler finishes his classes at the University of Tulsa. How do I expect to move somewhere and get a job in the field that I want if I haven’t maintained the gears in my head well oiled? Ay loca, my mom would say. “Good things happen to good people,” she tells me. Well, I’m not disagreeing but as the saying goes, God helps those who help themselves. Therefore, it’s time for me to hit the books again.

Miren. (look)

I know for a lot of people, school just isn’t for them, but I’m a firm believer in that those individuals have yet to find their favorite food. Education is like a buffet, and those that are on the highway to get a degree is because they found their favorite “food” on the “buffet.” My mom never pursued more than a high school diploma, so she didn’t get to teach me this but let me share with you what I wished someone would have told me when I was 15-years-old.

college_trade_vocational If you’re undecided about a career, pick up a trade or work your way up the ladder in your job. If you’re at a grocery store or a fast food chain, don’t let that stop you. Work your way up that ladder. Hustle baby, hustle! Con empeño / With determination. Don’t stay in the same position for more than 2.5 years. Every couple of months, I say 5 months, look back at what you’ve learned or are beginning to learn and jot it down on a sticky note or in your phone. Email it to yourself. Does anyone email anymore? Text it to yourself!

All too often, we forget about updating our resumes until we’re looking for a new job and we forget what we learned in between the big stuff. For example, if you work at McDonald’s you may have learned how to fix the ice cream machine, but you may have forgotten that you also learned how to troubleshoot the cashier software.

That’s my advice. No matter who you are, I think this is highly applicable. If you’re content with where you are in life, good for you; However, make sure settling has been a strategic choice, not a forfeit.

I’ve decided that I’m going to settle when I choose to. Not when life’s not going the way I want it to. I’ve had to deal with more than my comfortable measure of job application rejections. It affected my confidence but I’m going to shake it off. Sacudete, me dice mi mente / Dust yourself off, my mind tells me. My heart tells me to look at my blessings. I’m still gainfully employed, surrounded by people who encourage me with whatever I set my mind to. I couldn’t ask for anything more right now. Mi espíritu (my spirit) reminds me that it’s normal to trip when you try to run. I’m going to measure myself again and enjoy every step I take.

While I’m waiting for Tulsa Tech to begin its classes again, I’ve decided to pick up my camera and flex those photography muscles I haven’t moved since high school.

I took a few pictures of my little sister, Amy, while taking a walk in the neighborhood park. What do you guys think? I think I’m going to have some more fun with my camera and get the rust off my skills. Recuerden, hagan todo con empeño / Remember, do everything with determination.

With mucho mucho amor,

Tulsa’s Tapatia

Responsibility and Duty: College and Family

In 2015, I had to take a semester off of college because of financial insecurity. Afortunadamente, I got back in my studies the following

IMG_20180131_164241 — Classroom in McKeon Center of Creativity

summer semester, and I didn’t get too comfortable with the lack of academic responsibilities. This year, I find myself again in the same boat but with a different hole.

2017 was been a trying year on my family. My siblings and I all have our own personal lives, my parents are divorced, one of them has begun the naturalization process after waiting since 1997, and the other is going to be deported from the country in which he has raised his children and will leave them as well. With the waves of change, both of my parents became financially insecure and so they both reached out to their eldest child though with little desire to do so. I’m the eldest child and also a woman. Being a woman is important because even though in my family’s structure the man has the ultimate deciding influence in family matters, there’s a matriarch. My mother rules the nuclear family, meanwhile my great grandmother is the head of la familia Rodriguez Zepeda. Now, as the eldest I am responsible over my siblings and the enforcer of my parents’ expectations. I’m very thankful that the expectations my parents expect me to fulfill have not tarnished the relationships I have with my siblings.

The second born child of my mother is a boy, and he is growing into his role rather well. When our parents and I are not taking charge, he has learned to think with a cold head and balance the contradicting virtues of our conservative family and the pop culture of the time. I am very proud of him, but he is not the eldest and therefore will not assume the responsibilities of maintaining the structure of our nuclear family aside from our developing lives. That’s why my parents, when they have to, call out to me. With the turmoil of this year, I have endured a depletion of stable funds for the benefit of my parents and youngest siblings. This has in turn affected my own financial security and taken some of my focus off of my studies. Throughout the last half of 2017, I received a good deal of understanding from my fellow classmates over my actions but not much support. Which is understandable because of the idea that I shouldn’t “light myself on fire to keep somebody else warm;” however, why should I and how can I desert my parents during their time of need?

I understand that there are differing views about parents’ privileges and children’s debt but I would like to explain my experience as a first generation Mexican-American that sustains my parents’ conservative customs. With the divorce of my parents, I have started to become the ruling party in my nuclear family. My mother now runs family matters by me first before stating her claims and opinions, and my siblings reach out to me sometimes when making big decisions in their own lives that would affect the whole. I am very honored to have this status and I try to “swing my weight” the least I can possible. I have found that the less directly involved I am in family matters, the more my thoughts matter and the farther they carry. I have a duty to care for the well-being of the family. Too often though, my duty to family sometimes bumps heads with my responsibility to my education.

Due to a lot, and I mean bastante café, I finished my fall semester with a hopeful gpa that’ll only get higher by the end of my final semester at Tulsa Community College before transferring to Oklahoma State University. I’m very grateful I didn’t have to forfeit another semester due to financial insecurity. But if I did, I wouldn’t be nothing more than saddened by the prospect.

IMG_20180131_164729 — Me in the stairwell of the McKeon Center for Creativity.

La educación, my mom would say, is a privilegio. No un regalo. Not a gift. And based on my fortune of being raised in poor neighborhoods, I grew up seeing the ability to assist your family is a blessing many cannot afford. I do not value my education less than my family and I do not believe it’s worth less of my time and commitment. Far from it really. I believe, la educación is the greatest gift and grandest currency society has to offer me. However, I owe a duty to mi familia. Meanwhile, la educación, is a privilege and a responsibility.

I decided to write about this because even though other Mexican-Americans live a different life than mine, I have met many professors and guidance counselors that would like to have more of an insight as to how their students view their academic and personal responsibilities. To be more of a general help, I want to share with you a popular proverbio from Mexico.

There once was an old man who had worked very hard in the fields to give his child an education. His wife washed clothing to maintain the house. With sweat and love, both parents toiled until their son was able to graduate from a prestigious university. At seventy-years-old, the old man’s wife died and he found himself alone and full of memories. He went to his successful son’s home and asked him if he could stay with him but he didn’t want to be a bother nor affect his son’s family’s life. The grown and married son told the old man that he didn’t know where he could stay without disrupting his family’s life. He couldn’t take his children out of their rooms and he could most certainly not bother his demanding wife. The son offered the old man a hammock out on the veranda and he accepted. Grateful to no longer be alone, the old man did not mind sleeping outside in a hammock.

The grown son called for his own child and asked him to bring his grandfather a blanket for the night.

-With pleasure papá… Where will he be staying?

-On the veranda. He doesn’t want to bother us.

The boy went to get the blanket and after waiting for his return, his father went looking for him. He found the boy cutting a thick and heavy blanket in half.

-What are you doing? Why are you cutting your grandfather’s blanket?

-I am cutting the blanket so you will have something to keep you warm when you come to live with me.

The old man’s son then took his father into the house and gave him a bed, a blanket, and place to sit at the dinner table.

This proverb has many different versions, but they all center around the educated child, the old parent, and the future generation.

With mucho mucho amor,

Tulsa’s Tapatia

Soy Yo // It’s Me

When I was a child, I grew up with an identity crisis, but I never addressed it because I figured as long as my mom chose for me then I knew who I was. Niña, chamaca, pequeña; I identified with all of those labels so I thought ‘Claro que soy Mexicana.’ Then one day my mom started calling me child. Who was she referring to? Apparently, me!

imsorrycat It was an alien word to me. It hadn’t been used to identify me before, and I felt responding to it was completamente mal. The English word child made me feel like I wasn’t worthy to be Mexicana. I had a similar feeling to what non-Spanish speakers probably have when they’re standing in line at a grocery store, and a Hispanic family near them suddenly starts speaking in Spanish after speaking only English. I was uncomfortable, but I also felt insecure. Now I asked myself, who am I? Quien soy yo?

As a first generation Mexican-American, I already felt like I had two lives to juggle. The Anglo/mass media culture I experienced in school always bumped heads with my traditional and conservative culture expressed at home, at church and with the Hispanic community. I can recall two embarrassing moments that simply tore me apart. Me queria morir de la vergüenza! I wanted to hide underneath a rock.

While visiting my classmate Sarah, I was asked if I wanted to play the card game Uno. Never hearing about it before, I asked Sarah to explain to me what the game was about and she laughed. She figured since uno was a Spanish word then my family would have the game at home. Then she invited me to her room and again she laughed when I asked her if her mom would be okay with that. “Of course, Sam! We do that in America,” she said. I learned that day what I thought were universal manners to show respect were not practiced in my white friends’ houses. I noticed that my manners from home even made the parents uncomfortable because they weren’t practiced in their homes. I left Sarah’s house as fast as I could so they wouldn’t see me tearing up. The way I was being raised wasn’t “American,” and I hated that I wasn’t. What a huge injustice I was being served daily by being raised differently than my Anglo friends. In my child’s mind, all I knew was that I wasn’t “American.”

The second hallmark embarrassing moment of my life happened at my aunt’s house. My cousin and I were exchanging songs on our mp3 players, and my aunt noticed that the majority of music on my device was English. Meanwhile her daughter had predominately Spanish music on hers. Mija, she said, que no eres Mexicana? Immediately I responded Si! and she said No… She went on to compare me with my cousin using our music libraries as an indicator of how immersed we were in the culture. Obviously, I lost because I couldn’t dispute with my tia. My cousin, smug as could be, decided to show me all the Mexican things in her bedroom that supported her mother’s claim. But nothing was as bad as my aunt’s remark while in the car on my way home: Lo que tienes de Mexicana es solo tu apellido. Let me translate: What you have as Mexican is only your last name. Ayy el dolor! My own blood was telling me I wasn’t “Mexicana.”

lodovicopeluche Thank God at the time my mom started watching La Familia P. Luche. Google describes the Mexican sitcom as the experiences of a ‘typical Mexican family’ featuring a husband who does nothing but obey his wife, a clever boy, a second adopted son, a strange girl, and an Argentine maid. The strange girl is named Bibi and her family, as well as the entire fictional city, have a habit of asking her “Ay Bibi, porque no eres una niña normal?” They always ask Bibi why she isn’t a normal girl whenever she does something that doesn’t coincide with the general norm. She dislikes it when people ask her mockingly why she’s different but towards the end of the show she starts to own her individuality.

I’m proud to say that Bibi was a role model for me. As I was growing and trying to find out whether I was American enough, Mexican enough, Latina enough, etc. Bibi showed me that no matter how uncomfortable you feel, no matter how much you’re not like anyone else, still be yourself. No matter what the circumstance is, be yourself. Even if it against your own family. From then on, when someone looked at me odd/questioning/condescendingly, I started to say “es que no soy normal.” Whenever I said “I’m not normal” I felt empowered and I still do to this day. The best part about openly accepting that I’m different was the amount of support I received from family, friends, and strangers!

Sarai_SoyYoMVideo Now when people ask me to choose to be either American or Mexican, I counter with a poco me quieres normal? (Oh really, you want me to be normal?). The reaction I get is priceless. I can tell they hadn’t even considered who I’d be if I wasn’t myself. So be yourself and accept all of your sazón! Goza! Enjoy your life! You don’t have to choose between being Mexican, American, or Mexican-American, if you don’t want to. Whether you’re a first, second, third or sixth generation Mexican-American enjoy your diverse culture! I think I was hiding underneath a rock when Bomba Estéreo came out with their single ‘Soy Yo.’ I heard it yesterday for the first time and I most definitely accept it as the brown girl anthem. Cheka esto, Sarai Gonzalez, the star of the music video, told NBC Latino that “the message of this video is just to be yourself and not care what anyone else thinks no matter what.” Entonces recuerda, you are enough – you are more than enough and se tu! Ahora, a bailar!